What the heck is going on?

So I sit here and I am wondering, what the hell is up with kids these days?  Things are so different from when I was a kid.  So me and my husband are pretty strict with our kids, but the thing is they are still mouthy.  My 10 year old daughter Ali, tells me (cause I told her to do something) that she is not talking to me anymore.  Well okay I see how you want to play this.  So I will play her little game.  So I don't talk to her except to tell her time for bed brush your teeth and so on.  I was short and brief.  I don't like to play games but sometimes I feel that my kids don't understand what they are doing not only to me but other people (cause if she can do it to me she will do it to others).  So here it is the next day, I am doing the little girls hair for school and getting all there stuff together.  Well she wants me to do a bow in her hair.  I just kind of nodded and went about my way.  Then she wanted help finding something.  I just continued helping all the other kids get ready.  So she breaks down and says I am sorry mom I didn't mean it, I want to talk to you now.

Well of course I immediately say well what did you learn from doing this.  She say not to tell you what I am going to do.  Well no then you didn't learn what I was trying to teach you.  Although you may feel mad, or upset about something, instead of saying something hurtful or saying I don't want to talk to you anymore can be a permanent situation for someone else.  You say things and they are hurtful. You need to treat people including me how you would like to be treated.  Because people will not just take all of what you dish out, they will just drop you.  I don't like my kids judging, or treating anyone badly because of how they look, act, or what they do.  Everyone should be treated just how you would want to be treated.  I told her to remember back when she was being picked on because the kids didn't like how she dressed.  I said how did that make you feel?  Well I hated it mom she said, and of course she understood at that point what I was getting at.

What I don't understand is the way the kids think they can treat there parents now a days.  There are so many rules now for parents.  They don't want you to spank kids or yell at them but let me ask you all something since when was spankings so bad?  I mean I got them and I turned out just fine.  There is a fine line between spanking and beating you cant beat the crap out of your kids, its not a freebie to let out all your aggressions and frustrations out on this child.  But I do think kids need a spanking to understand there is just no way I am going to stand for your behavior.  What am I supposed to do?  I want to discipline my children and my oldest daughter is about to be 18 and she is so not prepared for life in the real world.  But that is not our fault, she is spoiled by other family members and how do I stop that when they do it behind our backs.

Then my oldest son is so stuck on his phone that he got for his birthday.  The only thing is it don't have service.  I cant afford to pay for service, I mean me and my husband don't even have cell phones.  So he tells me that he is tired of his older sister getting things that he don't and he is a honor roll student yet he doesn't have cell phone service, (because we cant afford it), she also gets money to go to the store just to get munchies, well I don't have the money for him to get food when she does that stuff adds up.  I can use that money to at least buy some noodles to make a meal out of stuff I already have at home.  He is growing more and more everyday to dislike her and what she gets but I keep explaining I have no control over that her biological mom and grandparents do it.  I think that it is time to sit down and have a family meeting.  I think that there may be a few of the other kids that feel that way to.  I mean my oldest daughter says she refuses to do dishes because her hands get messed up.  Well I don't really care you will do chores like everyone else and if you don't you will suffer for the choices you make.  So we will see tonight because her and the other girls have dishes tonight and if she doesn't do them the phone is being confiscated.  Well I am going to take a walk with my wonderful husband and I hope you all have a great and wonderful night. 

Also if you want feel free to leave a comment with any suggestions on how I can do some things.  I am not a perfect parent and will never be.  I make mistakes and I would love suggestions.