So much pain right now!

I am an emotional wreck.  I found out I was pregnant and now I am having a miscarriage.  I am so upset I had my tubes tied in 2009 and I have lost 3 babies now.  Why is this happening.  I mean really I am to young to get a hysterectomy but I am not to young to have six kids and keep losing babies.  I emotionally cant take it anymore.  I am going crazy and mad and just exhausted.  I mean where do I go from here.  I am in so much pain and I also know that with all my medical conditions I would be high risk pregnancy and possibly have a disabled child.  I believe every child deserves a chance.  It wouldn't be my first choice but I would love my child either way.  Where is this taking me or teaching me maybe I don't know I am so confused and hurt.  I feel like just curling into a ball and crying.  Also my poor husband is so upset he has kind of shut himself up.  I feel like I am failing him.

  I mean what do you tell your husband.  I am sorry I cant carry your children.  I wish I would have never gotten that stupid tubal when I did then I would never have to worry about this.  I want to just move on but I think to grieve is the best way.  I always have to write or I just bottle it up and explode.  I wanted this baby so bad.  Unfortunately I cant afford to have my tubes untied.  I am kind of stuck in a hard spot what do I do.  Do I have the hysterectomy or do I have my tubes untied, I am so tied and feel like I am being split in different directions.  I wish I could just curl up and cry till the pain is gone.  The more pain I have from this miscarriage the more I think about losing my precious child.